Caught myself

I laugh, alot, but the other day I was laughing at work and it sounded just like my sister's laugh. I stopped and thought, wow, I haven't heard that is years. I guess it was my daily reminder that she is always with me, or haunting me...lol!!!

Welcome Back (to School)

Since Facbebook, Twitter and Instagram have taken over our lives, I don't get on the blog much anymore. I thought I should post an updated pics of the kiddos. Graysen is 16 now, and starting her Junior year. She received her drivers license in June, and she didn't even have to take the written or driving test at the Driver's License Facility. Guess taking Drivers Ed last summer paid off and she performed both of the tasks for the teacher (and passed with flying colors). She isn't a perfect driver, and she still makes me a nervous wreck when I am driving with her, but she is learning very well the ins and outs of driving. Graham is starting his 7 grade year and is 12 years old. His life revolves around soccer, soccer and more soccer, riding his bike with his friends and he still enjoys playing with the neighborhood kids (that range in age from 11 to 1, and only 2 boys). He loves those little kids!! The adults are just reliving groundhogs day, same things day in and day out, but that's OK, we like it and we know we don't' have very many years of "the 4 of us" left, we will enjoy all the moments we can. We did celebrate 19 years of marriage this year, so I have almost been Mrs. Ria Voelker longer then I was Miss Ria Trimble....wow!!!

Thank You Note...

I read this article in Good Housekeeping. It is adapted from the book "The End of Your Life Book Club" by Will Schwalbe. The Year of Almost No Christmas...when it came to respecting others, our mother drew a clear line between naughty and nice..by Will Schwalbe. The 2008 holiday season was shaping up to be a sad one for me--one year before, my mother had been diagnosed with stave IV pancreatic cancer and age 73, and it was clear this would probably be her last Christmas. For Mom, though, the season was filled with joy. Since her diagnosis, I'd been thinking a lot about the way Mom acknowledged people. Everyone who came into her chemo cubicle got a warm look-you-in-the eye greeting or thank you--the nurse who brought the juice, or remembered the pillow Mom liked under her arm. The same went for doctors and security staff. The thank-you thing had been drummed into us when we were growing up. When someone dropped off a gift in the mail, your not was expected to bounce right back out of the mailbox. As kids, we'd hated that task, but when I saw Mom bean as she thanked the people at the hospital, I realized what she'd been trying to tell us all along. That there's great joy in thanking. In our family, the holidays were a big deal, but not without stress. I remember vividly the year when I turned 8. As always, Mom was seated in an armchair by the fire, her legs tucked up underneath her, reading the Nativity story to my brother and sister and me before bed: "And so it came to pass that in those days there went a decree from Caesar Augustus...." And then one of us started to giggle. Mom kept reading. Another of us started, then the third. We knew we shouldn't and thought we couldn't help ourselves. We weren't laughing at anything in particular--just from high spirits, silliness, anticipation. And then we weren't. The Bible was slammed closed. "Maybe this year there won't be a Christmas," Mom said, severely. There was indeed a Christmas, but I recall an extremely anxious night--not just over presents, but over genuine regret at having ruined Christmas Eve and fear of the the rare anger we'd brought out in our mother. When my sister and I analyzed this as adults, we came to some conclusions: Mom was not a big fan of silliness. She thought that even small children needed to be taught that the written word, on the page or read aloud, was to accorded utmost respect. As usual, throughout the 2008 season, Mom gave a lot of presents to everyone, including bags made by Burmese refuges to the staff at the hospital. For me, she and Dad had chosen vintage Stueben low-ball glasses for the Dewar's I liked to drink at cocktail time. When I sat down to write my parents a thank-you letter--not on Christmas afternoon, but soon after--I found it more difficult than I'd anticipated: I wanted to thank them for so much more than the glasses that each draft sounded more than the glasses that each draft sounded more and more like a eulogy for my mother. And yet how many more chances would I have to thank her for what she'd done for me and taught me and given me? As I struggled to finish this letter, what I suddenly realized was that a thank-you not isn't the price you pay for a gift, a kind of minimum toll, but an opportunity to remind yourself of how you are blessed. The funny thing was, the more I thought back on all the blessings, the more grateful I felt and the less sad. I pulled out a fresh piece of paper and began anew: "Dear Mom and Dad, I am so lucky...." Ria's Notes: The part that got to me the most was it shouldn't be a chore to write a thank-you, but the opportunity to remind yourself how blessed you are! Merry Christmas!

Praying

Praying....how often do you pray? It seems I am doing it more and more these days, and that is not a good thing. I reflect back on what I have been praying about these past few months, the list seems endless....my grandpa that had made peace with himself and was just waiting for his time to meet Jesus (RIP Grandpa Theo), praying for my mom and aunts and uncles as they cope with losing their dad they treasured so much. Praying for baby Kelson, who just couldn't wait to come into this crazy world. After 10 weeks in the NICU, lots and lots of prayers from all over this world for him, he came home to his mom and dad and big sister Claire and is growing by leaps and bounds. I pray for a former co-worker and his daughter after the tragic accident where his wife and youngest daughter were killed. I pray for friends who are fighting cancer, recovering from surgeries. Most recently, I am praying for Jeremiah. He is the son of Graham's soccer coach in Mahomet. Jeremiah was hit by a car last Friday evening in Mahomet. He has a brain injury, and they are trying to wean him off of sedation, as his body allows. It is a slow process, but I know lots and lots of prayers are going out for this little guy! Keep praying, because prayers are answered!

4-H Fair Season

"It isn't fair week until you argue with your children..." I think someone should make a t-shirt with that quote. 4-H is all fun and games until it is time to start (and finish) all those projects that sounded so much fun in May when you signed up for them. I am a product of McLean County 4-H. My mom was our 4-H leader for the Bellflower Pride of the Prairie. She also served on the county fair board for quite a few years, she held various positions on the Home Ec committe. She even served as the superintendent in-charge of the King and Queen and court during fair week. I have awesome memories of my 4-H days. We didn't go on vacation anywhere fancy during the summer, we went to the fair. This was also when the fair was at the "old" location, where Lowe's currently sits. I really loved the fashion revue, I loved watching it until I was old enough to be in it, and I LOVED being a part of it. That was my favorite project. It was worth all the fights mom and I would get in sewing whatever project I was creating. Over the years, I learned my fashion tastes and those of the older judges weren't the same, so in my later years of 4-H I tended to create more "mature" items to model. The biggest part of the fashion revue was to be one of the top 10 models. This was my ultimate goal, I wanted one of those darn silver platters they received! Finally, in my last year (as an 11 year 4-Her, gotta love having a "late birthday" I was picked as one of the top 10!!! I also was chosen a few times to model at the state fair. State fair was always fun because you could tell which girls were from McLean County, we know how to work a stage!!! My love for the fashion revue carried over for a few years after my 4-H years, as I was the superintendent of those shows. I don't miss having to write all those description cards and getting everyone lined up, but I do miss the friends I made along the way. Thanks to facebook, I have found a few of those 4-H families! This memory was due to a conversation I had with one of the members of our 4-H club. Her mom said she was doing the fashion revue on Saturday because she LOVED it so much last year....and I know exactly why she loves it!!!

Catch-Up

Wow, it's been almost a year since I have posted last. Facebook seems to have taken over my posting of pictures and happenings with the Voelker family. Pinterest has also taken over my "spare" time. I have pinned many awesome things, and have even completed a few of those pins! There are some pretty creative minds out there!! Anyway, I guess I will start off this post with what we have been up to recently. July is always a roller-coaster of emotions for us. We start off the month celebrating the 4th of July, Michael and I met on July 9, 1990,and we were married on July 16, 1994. Those are the happy things we get to celebrate in July. Then our hearts turn heavy as we remember 3 very special people to us. Our dear friend, Coady Miller on July 22, my sister on July 24 and our friend, Dave Burns on July 31. Sadly, we buried Coady and Jolee on the same day in 2007. They passed away under seperate circumstances, but our families will always be intertwined by the sorrow we felt and shared.

Here is one of the last pictures taken of my sister, Jolee. My niece (who was 5 at the time) shot this picture of her mommmy with her camera. Jolee Loved, Loved, Loved the sun, sand and boating. So, in memory of the 5th anniversary of her death, we went boating with a group of friends at Clinton Lake. It was a wonderful day, that could have been spent in sadness, only to be filled with laughter! Unfortunatly, death happens, it sucks and you can't escape it. Our 4-H club was rocked with the freak accident and death of a member's mom and little sister just over a month ago. My heart breaks for Ashley as her and her dad re-build their lives together. My heart also turns to Michael's Aunt Nancy, as she recently had to say good-bye to her son, Allen after an auto accident took his life. It takes me back to remembering all those "firsts" that a family goes through in the first years after a loved one has passed. It is hard to get through all of those, but you just suck it up and do it. I STILL wait for the phone to ring around 4:15 every afternoon. That is when Jolee would call me on her way home from work. Even if we didn't have anything to talk about, it was just nice to hear her rant about her day or about the idiot drivers around her! I miss that. I could go on and on, but I will save you from that. Just know that tomorrow isn't a given, and always tell the ones you love that you love them, tell today, tell them right now, because life is uncertain and you just don't know!

Homecoming 2011

Graysen loved her first Homecoming as a high school student. They had theme days, such as 50's dress day, fancy day, class color day and an 80's theme day. The entire theme for Homecoming was "Rock and Roll Knights", since we played Blue Ridge Knights (and we skunked them at the football game, shocker right....lol!) As Graysen was dressing for her days, I had a funny though of "what will our grandchildren want to wear to reflect dressing in the 2000's..." Think about it!

Anyway, she went to the dance with a few girlfriends and one boy, he was either really brave or really stupid....no really he is just a young man out to have fun and not leave anyone out! His mom even bought corsages for all 3 of the girls, what a nice surprise!



Here is Graysen and Brenden in the only car they could legally "drive" to the dance!



Graysen and her pretty dress that we borrowed! She received lots of compliments that night!



A quick pick of me and Graysen, I can't believe she still has tan lines! she is my brown sugar tanner!



Had to snap a picture of Graysen and Blythe. They have known each other since their days at daycare/preschool!


This is Graysen's corsage ring that Michael and I got her. I wanted something new and unique and this is what they came up with.....LOVE IT!! Maybe we will start a new trend!